INSIDE OKDHS FEATURE STORY, JUNE 2013 - FOSTER FAMILY SUPPORT GROUP

No Audio: Family Friends - Foster Family Support Group, Edmond OK 

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No Audio: Staci Swales, Support Group Member 

Staci Swales: We get together every week, for co-op and our kids get to play. They get to learn. They get to be involved with each other. And then the ladies and myself, we get to talk, we get to pray. We get to just hear about how each other’s weeks went - just to connect with each other. We get to tell about the exciting things that may have happened, you know, that week and just to get to enjoy our kids playing together.

No Audio: Tiffany Smith, Foster/Adoptive Mother, Support Group Member
 
Tiffany Smith: We have six kids total. Three are biological children, two that we’ve fostered to adopt, and then we have one foster child right now. We decided that we did want to adopt. We just started looking all over but then we just kept coming back to right here and what was happening right here in our local community and the fact that there’s 9,000 kids being bounced around or in shelters that needed a family to love them. That just really hit home with us knowing that there were babies and children sleeping just down the road in a shelter. We just felt like we needed to do something to help. 

No Audio: Beth Millard, Foster Mother, Support Group Member

Beth Millard: I’ve had a couple of placements. All of them have been reunited. We had a couple of big placements. We had several little ones, and one in particular just left a huge impact on our family and that was three sisters: two, three and nine at the time. The Lord has delivered their parents from a meth addiction and reunited their family. It was an amazing, amazing journey, and it left a huge impact on our family. 

No Audio: Kristin Peltier, Foster Mother, Support Group Member

Kristin Peltier: I actually have had both sides of this because we lived out of town five years ago, and when our daughter came to live with us I was out of town. My family was here and I had lost connection with a lot of people. So, it was very lonely. Then, we moved back here five years ago, and it was such a blessing. I mean, God just completely brought me to these women. 

Tiffany called me out of the blue and said, “Do you want to go to a ladies’ group with me?” The next thing I know, I am just surrounded with friends that are supportive. So, I’ve seen the very lonely side of it and how hard that is to do and then just the huge blessing of having friends and support. 

Tiffany Smith: This group... I cannot even begin to tell you what this support group has done for us. I really don’t think we’d have the family we have, if I didn’t have them. We took, you know, the fifth child that we have a little bit quicker than we wanted. We’d had job changes, both of us. There was quite a few things in your life when people say, “Slow down.” We both felt like we should do it. 

But what I did was, I literally called these women and said, “This is what I’m stressed out about.” They all said, “This is what we can do.” And, it came down to, “I’ll take your kids to piano.” “I’ll come clean your house.” “I’ll bake bread for you.” “I’ll bring freezer meals for you.” When I had this support literally, that’s what gave us that fifth child. It was then that I knew I could do it. I knew I could call and say, “Yes, we can do this.” So, I mean, I really feel like they kind of all birthed our family to an extent. 

Beth Millard: I’m so blessed to have such loving, consistent friends in this group. I can’t imagine trying to do foster care, or really anything difficult, without this group of families. They’re the sweetest friends to my children - the moms, and the dads and the children. I just... the emotional support, the prayer, knowing that this group of women wants to pray and will pray, you know, it’s just so powerful. Knowing that they see needs; they’re not just getting together for parties or you know, whatever. It’s fun, and it’s meaningful. It just adds to our life. I can’t imagine not having a support group. 

Staci Swales: It’s great that we don’t have to feel like it’s something that’s looked upon you know, differently. It’s a connection whether you’re directly involved or not, it’s a connection that we have with each other. 

Kristin Peltier: This is not something that you can do alone. It’s just not. It’s hard, and it’s emotional, and it takes a toll on everybody, especially family. They’re very closely connected to you and sometimes you don’t always have the support that you always need. But friendships, and especially other people that have walked the same road, it’s very, very comforting to just have them understand and support you in whatever you feel like is right for your family. Whether you have ten or two or, you know, you just have your own biologically, it’s very freeing. 

Tiffany Smith: Those times you’re just sad and grieved, you know, to come here and have these women on the couch in tears with me, just crying with me, and we are praying for them and praying for you, and sad with us and just being with us. I really can’t imagine going through this without that. 

Kristin Peltier: It’s a journey. It’s not something that you’re supposed to automatically know how to do. And that together we can learn from each other and with each other. It just brought grace to the situation. 

Tiffany Smith: DHS workers have the hardest job in the world. I feel like we all have the same heart. We’re on different sides of it, but we’re supposed to work as a team. No one gets into that job for any other reason than a heart for these children, just like no foster homes open without having a heart to really help these kids. 

We’ve had really good working relationships with our DHS workers on both sides, on the foster side and the adoption side. You know, I just have a lot of respect for them. I tell every one of my workers that we pray for them, and I would not want their job for a hundred years. Just the scheduling and the timing of it, I don’t know how they do what they do. They have so much on their plate. 

Beth Millard: I’m thankful to have people on this path. I mean, it can feel lonely sometimes. It is so good to have people who rejoice with you, and that is what these ladies do and their whole families. I think sometimes it’s hard for a lot of people to believe what has taken place in this family. I have no doubt that this group understands what has taken place. You know, when you just see something so big and you can’t quite explain it with words; they know. So, it’s just kind of an assurance that we walked the path that we were called to walk, and the Lord did it. 

Kristin Peltier: I’m not sure I can put it into words even. It’s just such a comforting... It’s just not just my husband and I doing it. Honestly, if we didn’t have the support of friends and family that if we did have a really big need, sometimes they see the need before we do because you know, they’ve done it before or whatever. I almost feel like my family is... I have an extended family, and they help me be a mother. 

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