BOUNDARIES

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Defining your own boundaries is a primary element of self-care. 
Making it clear what you will accept allows you to devote your energy to what is important to you. 
It is also often necessary to define the terms of your relationships to be healthy. 
But what do you do when you draw your line in the sand and others insist on pulling you over it? 
It can feel like a rope around your waist dragging you into situations 
and interactions that trigger the worst in you. 
It's a tug of war that can have you devoting all your energy outside yourself, 
doing what you don't want to do. 
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Untying the rope starts with paying attention to the tactics that drag you down. 
Is it unfair accusations? Name-calling? Guilt? Intimidation? Manipulation? 
Projecting your past? People-pleasing impulses? That's the knot. 
Understanding is the unraveling. 
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Once you find yourself over the line, examine how you got there and name it for yourself. 
You may not be able to back up over your boundary but you can resolve to be aware 
of what you are sensitive and responsive to. 
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Now, re-draw your line. 
If you feel yourself being pulled by the same tactics you've built your border against, dig in. 
Have a bucket full of responses that allow you to calmly and firmly respond without compromising yourself. 
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Practicing this self-care in small issues builds up your confidence 
and loosens the knot that keeps you tethered to behaviors you don't want. 
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When you see that your promises to yourself are stronger than the wants of other people 
and your previous patterns, you've slipped free of the knot. 
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Once you are released, re-draw your boundaries and stand firm. 
When that threshold needs to be moved, it's up to you. 
You can adjust your limits depending on what is best for you at any time. 
Through the Self-Care Initiative and the Employee Assistance Program, 
OKDHS wants to help you make your self-care a priority. 
Our priority is safer, healthier, more independent and productive lives for all Oklahomans 
and that includes you. 
Strong Boundaries allow you to be your own best advocate and truly care for yourself.  
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Take Time to Take Care.